Journal 2.0

My naked little heathen
Self-painted in highly-valued hues
Performs a sacred silly dance
Celebrating in the garden of exuberant youth
Nothing pallid in her world of rainbows
Unknowingly reveals the blooming wreck
My dress of caution keeps contained

The commercial tradition of Mother’s Day Brunch began in earnest about 20 years ago. It’s supposed to relieve Mom of kitchen duty and allow families, in these hectic days, to get together in large groups and enjoy a meal. Not to mention feed the economy. I know it’s a beloved tradition for many people, and of course it’s our “civic duty” to generate revenue.

But Mother’s Day Brunch is not my cup of tea—and I know I’m not alone. For a t-shirt and jeans type like me, squeezing into panty-hose and a bony support bra is about as appetizing as raw chicken. Then, waiting with throngs of other tired moms, hungry kids and grumpy husbands to sit down at an overcrowded restaurant or hotel? I would rather dive with sharks, uncaged. Thankfully, now that I’m the mom, I get to decide how I want to spend Mother’s Day.

In our home the infinitely less stressful Mother’s Day tradition of Lazy Mom has evolved organically as our lives have become more and more active. I am relieved of all responsibilities. I don’t pick up a sock or a spatula. And I’m waited on hand and foot. It’s downright dreamy for the Nurturer to be nurtured for the day by a grateful family. But why not take it a step further? Turn some of that nurturing mother on yourself. Feed your mind, body & soul with the same love and attention you give to your family.

ALONE TIME

How much alone time do you get in an average week? Your first reaction might be: Alone! On Mother’s Day? And to that I say yes. Yes. Yes!

Quiet time alone is crucial to a healthy emotional outlook. It’s important to spend time with ourselves, just being ourselves—not Mommy or wife or employee. This year my instructions to my family were simple: “Pick up the house please and then get the hell out.”

We’re a caustic bunch so don’t be alarmed. They get the joke. And it worked. They went out and had some fun while I got to enjoy my home, alone—something I never, ever get to do.

If you’re cooped up most of the week and don’t relish the idea of staying home, try spending part of the day alone in nature. Go to the beach or take a nature walk. Connecting with Mother Nature on whatever level is comfortable for you will rejuvenate your body and spirit. You’ll return to your family feeling refreshed and grateful to see them.

DO SOMETHING WILD

How would you like to hang-glide? Bungee-jump? Drive a race car? Go up in a hot-air balloon? What is the first thing you think of when someone asks, “What would you do if it weren’t so crazy?” Is there one thing that’s always at the top of your list? Do it! Life is short and the years keep on rolling. If you don’t make time to do it, you’ll never experience the blood-pumping thrill and the boost of courage and self-confidence that a little boundary-stretching parachute jump (or whatever) will certainly provide.

GIVE YOURSELF A GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Maybe you have a deep-seated desire that you’ve ignored for a long time. Would you like to learn to play the guitar? Take a dance class? Learn to sail, paint, or work with wood? If you’ve been denying yourself because of the fast-food-life combination of lack of time and abundant responsibilities, that’s even more reason to sign yourself up for a class. If you can work and manage a home, raise children and maintain myriad relationships, surely an hour or two commitment each week to doing something you enjoy isn’t going to upset the balance. In fact, it’s more likely that it will invite balance into your life.

Moms put themselves last so often that it becomes a barely-noticed habit. The Law of Attraction states that when we tell the Universe what we want, and take action, the Universe has a way of bringing more of that into our lives. If you would like more time in order to write your memoirs, sign up for a class and see what happens. You may find that you have more time than you thought to pursue your interests.

Since we never stop being moms, it’s also important to note that it will be good for your kids to see you learning a new skill or pursuing an activity you enjoy. Making time for your own personal interests sets a good example of courage, practice, and self-love for your children. My four-year-old, with pen and notebook in hand, likes to play “writing class.” It’s a reminder that by doing something you love, you’ll be doing a service to your family as well.